Jeeze, summer seems to be going way fast! Probably because nothing much is happening, ne? Back to school will be soon. >< I HATE BACK-TO-SCHOOL! all the stupid commercials make me afraid to watch TV. But getting new clothes is a yay part! I wish I could just go out and buy anime t-shirts anywhere. I saw this wonderful Utena shirt on ebay, and there was this way cute Chobits one too! Maybe I can make myself a shirt....if only I was a better artist! I wonder how hard drawign Chu-Chu would be! T_T On a different note, back-to-school means I'll have to deal with the seeing of the relationships again. *whine* What are you supposed to do if you are dateless? Hide under a rock? Acting blissfully ignorant seems to work well for me. Except when I forget and get caught up in the I-am-alone-blues-de-funkness era. All I can say is yay for fakeness and TV relationships! Yay for fanfics and marketing! Yay for gummi bears! >< Now I want gummi-bears. Compared to my last entry, do I seem a bit bi-polar? lol.
Subject: Lost without Love or SOmething Like That..

Love. Coming down on me from all sides. Everyone is in love. Everyone is happy. All the wonderful couples. All the silent understanding. They only need each other. Blah blah blah. I think it's a load of crap. Maybe because I don't know what it's like. I look at all these happy people. I want to be them. But to be them, I feel I'll have to lose myself. Is that a truth? A real truth? When you become part of a couple, a you-plus-dream-person-organism, does your own self get lost and die along the way? Does the girl, for example, have to give up everything? Girls have to change themselves to look avaliable. In ways maybe they don't want to change. Act different than what they really are. Play a part for a guy. Is it something everyone does? Masks. Faces made of porceline. Is that what our whole life is? Just a play. Because of fear. Of wanting. Of not being alone. When will I be willing to join the crowd? Today was the peachy-est of days. I hope this blog doesn't sound too depress-id, only the first posty in. New clothes always make for a happy person. Unless they don't fit...because you're fat. Then you only think "I'm a fat stupid cow! Who will be ugly forever! And Die Alone! Aliens could kidnap me and no one would care because I'm such a loser! Look at these stupid frickin' clothes! They mock me! These manikins mock me with their plaster-annarexea! These clothes are all 'ohhh we're soooo pretty, we're shiny, don't you wanna wear us? people will talk to you and you'll be fab! OOPS, we forgot you weighed 2000-ba-zillion pounds! You'll never find love and you'll be stuck in a purple moo-moo, you grape-head! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!' I hate these stupid clothes!!!!!!! ><" Then you'll start to cry and decide to kill yourself. But don't worry. Clothes are stupid-o. ......BUT today wasn't one of those kinds of days! Today was a good day. Yes yes yes. Revolutionary Girl